I am sick and tired of being me. i dont understand why ME cant seem to finish doing my work, and why i cant have the hackcare attitude? Why i do always feel that i am buried in work? For the first time in my life, i actually have to work during CNY! CNY hols seem to be the time i should do my catch up in work. What kind of life am i living?
I am sick of looking at the fat me too. I am also sick of me alone. I am confused. I dont know what is left of me that's good. I am fat, not smart, EQ is low, scared of lotsa of things (height, coachroach, toiletbowl, shit and lots more!), i dont like to talk to strangers and find it difficult to hold a conversation with someone whom i am not familiar with.
I dont know whats my purpose of life. Am i into my mid life crisis so soon? I really feel like letting go of everything and just sulk in a corner until i can find my purpose of life but i dont have the courage to do that.
Should i plan my April trip so that i can go away and have a tot on this?... i wonder
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Down down down.....
I really feel very down... By right, i should feel rejuvenated after my 8N Japan trip but this only lasted 1 day after i went back to work. Other than being sick for one whole week, i had to do all the work that never seem to end. I really feel alone and overloaded. At the same time, i feel that i am incapable. Why is everyone around looking fine except me? Why do i feel like i am drowning and why do keep finding things that i could have done better? WHY?!
I really running low on energy and wonder why i must live this kind of life. This kind of stressful life. Is the $ worth it? I seem to have lost the time when i can just sit around to watch tv... every night, i seem to be working shift 2 at home no matter what time i come home. I am tired.
Today i will devote myself to work again, but tomorrow, i MUST not touch work. I shall devote my time to my Japanese language revision. I hope i can do it. Now is 3 Jan (sat) 2pm, there's 12 hours to 2am. Thats the time i have today to do all the work. Jiayou to myself.
I really running low on energy and wonder why i must live this kind of life. This kind of stressful life. Is the $ worth it? I seem to have lost the time when i can just sit around to watch tv... every night, i seem to be working shift 2 at home no matter what time i come home. I am tired.
Today i will devote myself to work again, but tomorrow, i MUST not touch work. I shall devote my time to my Japanese language revision. I hope i can do it. Now is 3 Jan (sat) 2pm, there's 12 hours to 2am. Thats the time i have today to do all the work. Jiayou to myself.
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